My Story: Why I Created Connected Hearts

Hi, I’m Cheryl Dillon, the founder of Connected Hearts. With a background in psychology, coaching and event planning, I bring both the heart and the structure to creating a community where women can build friendships, keep growing, and have a whole lot of fun together.

Much of my professional life has centered on helping people through life’s turning points, including nearly two decades working alongside my husband Joe at Equitable Mediation Services, the divorce mediation practice we co-founded in 2008.

That work has given me a deep appreciation for how much our relationships, the choices we make and the way we show up for one another can shape our lives.

My Own Turning Point

In 2018, I found myself squarely in the middle of my own life transition. I moved to Southern California after spending most of my life in New Jersey, followed by five years in Chicago. I saw the move as an opportunity to think more deliberately about how I wanted to live, not to mention picture-perfect weather, fruit trees and beaches. Need any lemons?

It was also my chance to finally do the things I’d always wanted but had been too afraid to pursue.

 

The first was simply being myself.

For years, I’d carried a lot of social anxiety and self-doubt, hiding parts of who I was rather than risk being fully seen. I’d spent years coaching other people through exactly that, encouraging them to show up authentically, without fully practicing it myself. Eventually, I made the choice to actually take my own advice, even when it felt scary. That shift became the beginning of learning to be a better friend to myself.

I’ve noticed that when you become a good friend to yourself, everything else starts to shift. You’re more comfortable in your own skin. You’re happier. You become a better friend to others, and you get clearer about the kinds of friendships and relationships you want in your life. You start surrounding yourself with people who align with your values and what matters most to you.

That’s exactly what happened for me. And once I felt that shift myself, I wanted to help other women experience it, too. It’s one reason personal growth is foundational to Connected Hearts: I believe the way we relate to other people is deeply connected to the way we understand and relate to ourselves.

At our gatherings, that means exploring relatable topics that give us something interesting to think about and talk about together, often leaving us with a fresh perspective on ourselves, our relationships or everyday life.

 

The second was a real circle of women friends.

I’d wanted this for as long as I can remember, but I’d also been burned by groups of women before, so I steered clear, choosing safety over the risk of being hurt again. What I actually wanted, underneath all that caution, wasn’t just any friendship group. It was a community with depth, trust, encouragement, mutual respect and loads of silly fun.

What I’ve also come to see is that those earlier experiences with groups of women forged something valuable. I know exactly how it feels to be left out, and I refuse to let anyone around me feel that way. I don’t care what someone looks like, how much money they have, or where they land on politics or religion. What matters to me is simple: are they a nice person, or are they an a-hole? (Sorry, my Jersey slipped out.) Are they open or closed off? Are they willing to let others get to know them?

 

The third was simply more time.

My dad passed away in his 50s, right around my age. Losing him so early made me acutely aware of how little time any of us are guaranteed. I didn’t want to wait for “someday” to live fully. I wanted to try new things, have more fun and spend more of my life with people I genuinely enjoyed being around.

I think about my grandmother often, too. As she got older, she became increasingly isolated and spent much of her time alone. Watching her taught me what can happen when we stop actively choosing connection as the years go by.

Her experience stayed with me and helped shape something I believe deeply today: our relationships aren’t just a nice part of life. They play an important role in how well we live it.

Connected Hearts was a place I built as much for myself as for other women who were looking for some of the same things I was.

Now, at every gathering, I get to watch women laugh, share stories, discover things they have in common, learn something new about themselves and get to know one another a little better.

And I get to be part of it, too.

That’s why Connected Hearts means so much to me. It grew out of things I wanted in my own life: great friendships, continued growth, new experiences, plenty of fun and a community where I could simply be myself.

Here’s to living fully!