My Story: Creating Authentic Community for Women

Hi, I’m Cheryl Dillon, the founder of Connected Hearts. I understand firsthand both the challenges and the opportunities life’s transitions bring. With 16 years as a certified life coach, a background in psychology, and training in event planning, I bring both the heart and the structure to create gatherings where something real can actually happen.

Much of my professional life has centered on helping people through life’s turning points – whether coaching individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce or helping women gain clarity and the courage to create positive change in their lives.

In 2008, I co-founded Equitable Mediation Services with my husband Joe – a nationally recognized divorce mediation practice that has deepened my understanding of life transitions and continues to inform the compassion and intentionality I bring to the Connected Hearts community.

My Own Turning Point

In 2018, I found myself squarely in the middle of my own life transition. I moved to Southern California after spending most of my life in New Jersey, followed by five years in Chicago. I viewed this as an invitation to deliberately design a next chapter rich with depth, joy, and new possibility, not to mention picture-perfect weather, fruit trees, and beaches. Need any lemons?

It was also my chance to finally do the things I’d always wanted but had been too afraid to pursue.

The first was simply being myself.

For years, I’d carried a lot of social anxiety and self-doubt, hiding parts of who I was rather than risk being fully seen. I’d spent years coaching other people through exactly that, encouraging them to show up authentically, without fully practicing it myself. Eventually, I made the choice to actually take my own advice, even when it felt scary. That shift became the beginning of learning to be a better friend to myself.

I’ve noticed that when you become a good friend to yourself, everything else starts to shift. You’re more comfortable in your own skin. You’re happier. You become a better friend to others, and in turn, they become better friends to you. And almost without trying, you start attracting people and situations that align with your values and what matters most to you.

That’s exactly what happened for me. And once I felt that shift myself, I wanted to help other women do the same. It’s also why personal growth is part of Connected Hearts: I believe the way we relate to other people is deeply connected to the way we understand and relate to ourselves.

At our gatherings, that means exploring relatable topics that give us something interesting to think about and talk about together, often leaving us with a fresh perspective on ourselves, our relationships, or everyday life.

The second was a real circle of women friends.

I’d wanted this for as long as I can remember, but I’d also been burned by groups of women before, so I steered clear, choosing safety over the risk of being hurt again. What I actually wanted, underneath all that caution, wasn’t just any friendship group. It was a community with depth, psychological safety, trust, encouragement, mutual respect, and loads of silly fun.

What I’ve also come to see is that those earlier experiences with groups of women forged something valuable. I know exactly how it feels to be left out, and I refuse to let anyone around me feel that way. I don’t care what someone looks like, how much money they have, or where they land on politics or religion. What matters to me is simple: are they a nice person, or are they an a-hole? (Sorry, my Jersey slipped out.) Are they open or closed off? Are they willing to be vulnerable and reveal themselves?

The third was simply more time.

My dad passed away in his 50s, right around my age. Losing him so early made me acutely aware of how little time any of us are guaranteed. I didn’t want to wait for “someday” to live fully. I wanted to try new things, be more active, and be genuinely connected to other people, starting now.

I think about my grandmother often, too. As she got older, she grew more isolated, spending most of her time alone at home instead of with others. Watching my grandmother taught me what happens when we stop actively choosing connection as the years go by. I’ve come to believe social connection isn’t just nice to have, it’s one of the biggest factors within our control when it comes to how long, and how well, we live. Social scientist Kasley Killam calls this “social health,” and argues it deserves to be treated as a third pillar of wellbeing, right alongside physical and mental health.

The research simply confirmed what I already knew.

Connected Hearts was a place I built as much for myself as for any woman who’d walk through the door feeling the same way I did.

After every gathering, without fail, I watch something change. Women who arrived a little guarded leave a little more open. Women who felt disconnected begin feeling more alive, more hopeful, and more themselves again. There’s real laughter, too, and watching a genuine community take shape around all of it is the most rewarding part of this work.

That’s why Connected Hearts means so much to me – because what happens here changes something – in a really amazing way, for the women in the community and for me.

Here’s to living fully!