When Did You Stop Being a Beginner?

I’ve noticed something about getting older: it feels pretty good to know what you’re doing.

We spend years figuring things out. We become competent at our jobs. We develop routines. We know which grocery store has everything we need and exactly how long it takes to get somewhere without Google Maps.

I finally figured out my air fryer.

Why would I voluntarily go back to not knowing what I’m doing?

And yet, over the past couple of years, I’ve found myself doing exactly that.

It started because I had a nagging sense that I wanted something different. I kept thinking, If I keep doing what I’m doing, I’m going to keep getting what I’m getting.

There wasn’t anything terribly wrong. I just wanted more newness in my life.

So I started trying things.

And because I’m from Jersey and apparently incapable of easing into anything, I may have overcorrected.

I enrolled in an event planning program. I joined organizations where I didn’t know anyone. I started volunteering. I launched Funderful Experiences, which required me to learn approximately 4,000 things I did not know how to do.

Then I signed up for voice lessons.

I’ve always loved singing, but loving something privately and standing in front of another human being while they evaluate what is coming out of your mouth are two very different experiences.

And then there was stand-up paddleboarding.

I’d wanted to try it for a long time and had also developed an impressive list of reasons not to. Eventually, I ran out of excuses.

Was I nervous?

Absolutely.

The paddleboard, it turns out, was completely unimpressed that I used to be a good swimmer. It wanted balance, which was an entirely different skill.

That’s what I’ve rediscovered about trying new things. Being a beginner can be uncomfortable.

You’re awkward. You don’t know the rules. Other people may know more than you. You might be bad at it.

I really don’t enjoy being bad at things.

But I’ve also noticed that being new at something wakes me up a little.

I ask questions. I make mistakes. I laugh at myself. I discover things I like and things I absolutely do not need to do twice.

And every once in a while, I discover a part of myself I’d forgotten about or hadn’t met yet.

I used to think confidence was something I needed before I tried something new. I’ve learned that, at least for me, it often works the other way around.

I don’t wait until I’m no longer nervous. I remind myself that nervous doesn’t necessarily mean don’t do it.

Sometimes it simply means I’ve never done this before.

There’s a lot to be said for the comfort of knowing what we’re doing. I have no intention of becoming a beginner in every area of my life.

But I also don’t want competence to become a reason my world gets smaller.

So every once in a while, I think it’s worth asking:

When was the last time you let yourself be new at something?

Not because you need to reinvent yourself. Just because there might still be something out there you’d really enjoy discovering.