The Power of Small Wins in Midlife: Finding Joy in Everyday Moments

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly running toward a finish line you can’t quite see?

I get it.

It’s easy to get caught in the belief that fulfillment lives somewhere ahead of us, instead of in the everyday moments already unfolding. I used to think big milestones would be the things that finally made me feel like I’d “made it.”

But lately, I’ve been thinking about something else: celebrating the small wins – the shimmering, everyday moments that build confidence, reinforce gratitude, and prove we’re not just moving forward, but already immersed in the good stuff.

It’s like walking along the beach, collecting seashells.

The Moments That Matter Most

Two days before my birthday last year, a new friend handed me a gift, which I saved to open on the actual morning. Inside was something she’d clearly put thought into – intentional, not last-minute. More than the gift itself, it was the message: I see you. I was thinking of you.

These are the kinds of small wins that quietly strengthen emotional resilience and remind us that life satisfaction isn’t built in giant leaps, but in steady steps.

For a friendship that’s still new, that felt like a steady, solid yes.

The first seashell in my pocket.

That morning, as Joe made breakfast, he raised his coffee mug in a toast. He named the things I rarely pause to acknowledge in myself: starting a business in midlife, writing a newsletter, reaching for friendships even when it scares me.

I’m not great at celebrating myself, so hearing him say it out loud made my heart grow three sizes, Grinch-style. (And for the record, every birthday toast should absolutely include coffee.)

Another shell – smooth and solid.

Later, we drove to my favorite beachfront restaurant for a slow, leisurely lunch. Sitting there, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I’ve dreamed of living in Southern California since high school, and here I am. How lucky am I that I get to live where other people vacation?

A perfect little conch-shell moment.

On the way home, we stopped at my favorite clothing boutique. The dress I’d eyed months ago was suddenly in the sale room – in my size! The dress, the sale, the perfect fit.

A piece of sea glass – unexpected and wonderful.

Throughout the day, more seashells appeared in the form of texts, emails, and calls from friends, both new and old. A few of the kindest wishes came from newsletter subscribers, and each one felt like finding a perfect sand dollar.

It was a meaningful reminder that taking a risk to build new connection is always worth it – especially in midlife, when intentional living matters more than ever.

Joe and I ended the day floating in the pool, listening to the playlist he made for my 50th birthday years ago, and watching my Cubbies lose to Cincinnati. (Okay, so not every moment was a winner.) But every song on that playlist was a time capsule – and a promise that true love and a good 80s power ballad never go out of style.

What We Miss When We Only Look Ahead

None of this would trend on Instagram. But each moment was a collected treasure, nonetheless.

Big achievements are like lighthouses in the distance. But a positive mindset isn’t built on distant lighthouses – it’s built on noticing what’s already glowing at our feet.

And here’s what I’m realizing: sometimes we spend so much time squinting at the horizon that we forget to look down.

What’s one “seashell” you picked up this week – a tiny moment of joy, connection, or progress you might have otherwise overlooked?

What might change if you ended each day by counting your shells instead of your shortcomings?

Try This: The Seashell Jar

Let’s turn this idea into something tangible.

1. Find a container.

Grab a simple glass jar, a small bowl, or even an empty coffee mug. This will be your Seashell Jar. Place it somewhere you’ll see it every day – your kitchen counter or nightstand.

2. Collect your wins.

Keep a small pad of paper and a pen nearby. Every time you experience a small win, jot it down on a slip of paper, fold it, and drop it into the jar.

3. What counts as a shell?

Anything that brings a flicker of goodness:

• The perfect avocado
• A parking spot right up front
• A kind word from a stranger
• Finishing one nagging task
• A moment of peace with your morning coffee
• A song that brings back a good memory

If it made you feel good, it counts. This simple gratitude practice trains your brain to recognize progress over perfection and helps you savor the moment instead of rushing past it.

At the end of the week, pour out your shells and read them. You’ll be holding physical proof of how much goodness is already in your life – and how much beauty you’ve been walking through all along. And over time, that awareness becomes an abundance mindset – one rooted not in chasing more, but in appreciating what already is.